What's My Age Again?
by House-elf
Summary: In hopes to rise two particular teacher's spirits, Dumbledore casts a spell to..
1. Chapter One

What's My Age Again?  
  
written by: House-elf  
  
  
  
Rated PG-13 for semi-violence (Cuz there's obviously going to be some with the group of kids I have!), naughty langauge (O.o...), and names like: Quirky-- how very wrong it is to let me write.. oh dear god--  
  
Summary: In hopes to rise two particular teacher's spirits, Dumbledore casts a spell to.. "Bring out the child in them"-litterally. Little does he know he's cast the spell wrong. *grins* VERY wrong..  
  
Eleven year-old Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Gildroy Lockheart, Quirky Quirrle, and Tom Riddle arrive at a present-day Hogwarts.. *evil smile* This will be fun.  
  
Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. That's right. I'm JKR. *sighs* These things really are pointless.. Oh- I also own Blink 182's song- What's My Age Again. *sarastic grin*  
  
  
  
A/N: The title obviously came from Blink's song! It's where I got the idea for this ickle fic! I'm basically writing this as it comes to me so.. I'm up to ANY suggestions you can give me! It's also meant to be a *tad* on the odd side. Quirky Quirrlle, eh? Pretty damn queer if you ask me.. But oh well. I had to think of a name fast for it to work out. And- Quirrle DOES have a turban on.. he wouldn't be himself without it.. O.o;; I know the characters may seem a *bit* OOC, but they're kids! They change a LOT while growing up.  
  
The things insomnia can do to a person... *eyes get all glassy*  
  
(BTW- constructive critasm and such will be GREATLY appreciated! Also- flamers are welcome.. I flame a lot so.. might as well get what's comin' to me! *snickers and walks off*)  
  
Last Thing I SWEAR!- if anyone knows the CORRECT spelling of Gildroy(?) and Quirlle(?), and they TELL me.. I'll.. give you a.. present?  
  
  
  
Chapter One: Six New Old Wizards and a Witch Meet  
  
  
  
"Dammit!" A small girl yelled, followed by, "SHIT! Move, or I'll kill you!" Minerva McGonagall was an extremely short girl with waist-length black hair- which she kept tied up in a loose bun at the top of her head.  
  
She was unbelievably louder than she looked, and rather agressive too. Minerva hoisted her cat's basket higher under her arm and looked around for the right platform. "Nine and three-quarters.. Nine and three quarters.." She mutterd looking around. There was no sign that the platform existed at all.  
  
She shook her head. 'Bloody mum! Always forgets to tell me where to go!'  
  
When Minerva had just about lost hope of ever finding the platform she heard something that made her crack a grin.  
  
"Muggles everywhere.. I swear.. Hogwarts should find us a decent place to board the train.. Platform nine and three-quarters my a- HEY! You there! You going to Hogwarts?"  
  
Miverva ran towards the source of the voice and saw that it was a boy not much taller than herself with sholder-length greesy-looking black hair. He was carrying an owl cage under his arm, and pointing what had to be a wand at a blond-haired boy in robes only two steps a head of himself.  
  
"Excuse me!" She said, grabbing the boy's arm, "But did I hear you say Hogwarts?"  
  
The boy spun around and rose an eyebrow, "Yes.. Who are you?"  
  
Minerva tried to extract an arm from under her cat's basket, but failed an the basket fell to the ground, opened, and her cat jumped out and hissed.  
  
"Dammit!" Minerva swore, and tried to grab the hissing ball of fur. "I'm Minerva," she spat, as she grabbed Pumpkin's (the cat) tail and shoved him back into his basket.  
  
"Severus." The boy helped her up and asked, "New to Hogwarts?"  
  
"First year, yup! What about you?"  
  
Before he could answer a swish of deep velvet shot between the two, and seemed to trip, because whoever it was landed on the ground between the two platforms nine and ten with a loud, THUMP!  
  
What Minerva reconised as Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans spilled out from under the heap on the floor, along with a handfull of Chocolate Frogs.  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow and just shook his head, but Minerva dropped Pumpkin's basket and ran over to the heap on the ground.  
  
"Are you okay?" She asked, nudging the person.  
  
The person-boy- who sat up had twinkly blue eyes, a rather long nose, and wispy blond-white hair.  
  
"Albus Dumbledore!" He shouted, recieving odd looks from passing Muggles.  
  
Minvera only looked at him with her head cocked to the side, with much the same expression the Muggles had.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Albus! That's my name! Yes, I'm feeling wonderful! Now what's your name?" He said this all very fast.  
  
"Minerva McGonagall."  
  
"Severus Snape." So Severus had joined them.  
  
"Good to meet you both. I suggest we get on the train before it leaves!" Albus looked down at his spilled sweets. "Oh no.. I've dropped all my candy. Suppose I'll have to buy more later!" He sprinted towards the wall seperating platforms nine and ten, and for a split second Minerva thought he would crash again, but he went right through.  
  
Severus and Minerva exchanged shrugs then followed suit.  
  
*  
  
"So you two come from wizarding families too?" Severus asked, looking impressed.  
  
"Yes! One hundred percent wizard!" Albus smiled proudly.  
  
"Almost one hundred percent for me," Minerva sighed. "My sister is a squib!" She shudderd, "I almost felt guilty coming here without her.. Almost," she flashed the two wizards a huge grin.  
  
At that moment there was a knock at the compartment door.  
  
"Come in!" All three called at once.  
  
A tall, pale, extremely thin boy stepped in, closing the door behind him. "I'm Tom Riddle. Do you mind if I sit with you? Everywhere else is full.."  
  
"No problem!" Severus smirked and moved over so Tom could sit next to him. "So.. you a pure-blood too?"  
  
Tom sneered, "No. My bloody dad's a Muggle." And that was all they got out of him.  
  
Untill...  
  
"Oh no, NOT YOU! Get OUT!" Tom screamed and lept to his feet, pointing his wand at a blond-haired boy who had just pushed open the door to the compartment and walked in with an enormous smile. It seemed like he had about fifty teeth, and the braces didn't help too much.  
  
"Ah! Tom my good fellow! Mind if I stay a bit?" The blond boy walked past Tom and sat in his spot.  
  
Tom's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and he looked at Minerva and Albus with a look that plainly stated, "What the fuck?!"  
  
Minerva was trying to hold back laughter at the look on Tom's face.  
  
*  
  
"Quirky Quirrle," said the boy, eyeing them all nervously as if they were about to bite him. "Th-that's my name. M-mind if I sit here?" He had a small studder- and was so obviously trying to hide it Minerva was biting her lip trying not to giggle.  
  
"Right-o good chap! Sit down here next to me and dear Severus!" Severus shot Gildroy Lockheart the coldest glare possible, but Gildroy merrily motioned for Severus to move over. "And don't look as though we've grown three heads!"  
  
"In your case it might be an improvment.." Tom mutterd, sending a dark look at Gildroy.  
  
Gildroy ignored him and smiled his toothy grin at the boy with the overly- large turban on his head, who sat a good deal away from Gildroy, giving him a look as though he were insane.  
  
The six sat talking untill the lunch lady appeared. Tom and Minerva were in a heated discussion about which house was the best (Minerva cheering Gryffindor on, while Tom growled that Slytherin supassed them all. "How do you know about Slytherin? I thought you grew up in an orphanage?" Tom had just shrugged and Minerva strongly suspected Severus had something to do with it- considering he had a large grin on his face).  
  
"Anything off the trolly- What the?" The plump witch stopped and stared wide-eyed at the six young wizards. "My god you all look so familliar.." She rememberd evedry student she ever served and this lot reminded her of several much older wizards...  
  
Minerva rose an eyebrow, as did Tom, and Albus gave her a questioning smile.  
  
She shook her head and put a smile on her face, "Sorry about that! Anything of the trolly kids?"  
  
********************  
  
A/N: There you go! The first chapter! Tell me how you liked it!- or DIDN'T like it. I swear it will get better! It's hard to START fanfics.. I'm off to write the second chapter!  
  
May the Chezzyful Hoons bless you with Wormish Pleasure!  
  
~House-elf 


	2. Chapter Two

PG-13: violence, language, and.. once again the name Quirky *shakes head at horrible name*  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING, NOTHING, DAMMIT!- oh, except Anguiena Anglophone (lmao.. too much social studies. No, no that's a lie.. nothing ever happens in social. I just.. KNOW that word.. *puzzles self*)  
  
A/N: THANK YOU, MISS BREED! For telling me how to spell those bloody names! *hugs* And for being the first reviewer! *dances* I'm going to find a way to include you in this fic for a scene or two *grins* There! That's the first reviewer reward!- okay so it's not that good.. I'll think of something else later! Want to give me your character name, looks, personality and I'll add you? *smirk* (leave it in your next review)  
  
Anyone who knows html and wouldn't mind being my editor email me! I hate this font.. and want to change it.. So I need to know html!!!  
  
Yes, I know I spelt criticism wrong.. But I realised that AFTER I posted the chapter and was too damn lazy to change it!  
  
Nagini: lazy ass..  
  
House-elf: *glares* damn evil muse.. *continues to glare at snake*  
  
ANYHOONS- this chapter includes: Dumbledore's reaction to his badly preformed spell, a small snake named Nagini (*winks at snake*), AND- wait.. forget it. Just read!  
  
(BTW- just to clarify a few things- 11-y/o Minerva, Snape etc.. All are acting as if they've only been alive for 11 years now.. So they DO know about Harry Potter. They know about Voldemort's rise to power.. and basically all that's happend in the first four books-well the MAIN points anyways.. BAH! too hard to explaine. Just think of them as NEW students to Hogwarts- not olden-day new students.)  
  
Am I aware that that made absolutly no sense? YES.. but- enough rambling- on to the fic!  
  
  
  
***************  
  
Chapter Two: A Strange, Strange Night in Hogwarts  
  
Headmaster Albus Dumbledore smiled to himself thinking about the new students that would be arriving. He thought of this as "one of his more brilliant ideas". Bringing Minerva and Severus's child-selves to Hogwarts was exactly what they needed to lighten up their spirits.  
  
Albus was in a rather good mood since there had been no mention of Voldemort in the summer. Although this troubled him a bit, no news was better than hearing about a handfull of Deaths. Even Severus hadn't heard anything.. And his connections were great.  
  
Albus was shaken out of his thoughts by a familliar voice.  
  
"Albus, shall I go get the new first years?" It was Minerva.  
  
Albus' grin widened and he replied, "Why yes, Minerva. Please do."  
  
She gave him an odd look and proceeded to walking out of the Great Hall.  
  
"Yes, I do believe this is one of my more brilliant ideas," He smiled at no one in particular.  
  
*  
  
Proffesor McGonagall opend the door for the students and yelled over the crowd, "First Years over here please!"  
  
There were quite a few new students, and they gatherd around her- as she gave her beginning-of-the-year speech about the sorting and the four houses.  
  
"Now follow me, you must be sorted!" She led the way to the Great Hall, up to the three-legged stool, and grabbed the roll of parchment with the student's names on it.  
  
"Anglophone, Anguiena!" She called, and watched as a tall girl with black hair jumped over to the stool, yanked the hat on her head, and after a brief second it called, "SLYTHERIN!" to the whole hall.  
  
Looking extremely please she gave McGonagall a smirk as she ran over to the Slytherin table.  
  
A few more students were sorted, none which really stuck McGonagall as important.. Untill:  
  
"Dumbledore, Albus!" She choaked out.  
  
The whole hall went silent. Minerva looked over at Albus- who was staring wide-eyed at her, and for the first time in a long while, he looked confused.  
  
A small boy with Dumbledore's eyes, and nose ran up to the hat, completely oblivious to the stares he was getting, and put the hat on his head.  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!" It shouted without hesitation.  
  
"Well I should think so!" Dumbledore laughed- obviously out of his stunned silence. The Gryffindor's applauded, and seemed to accept the fact that they had someone with the same name as their Headmaster in their house.  
  
*  
  
"Albus.. Isn't it a bit weird that you've a child in your old house with the same name as you?" Proffessor Snape enquired.  
  
Albus looked over at his younger self- chatting with Harry Potter. "One of my more brilliant ideas gone wrong.." He mutterd to no one in particular.  
  
Snape gave him the same look McGonagall had given him earlier and turned back to the students being sorted.  
  
"Lockheart, Gilderoy .." McGonagall said in an awed voice.  
  
A blond boy with braces and a toothy smile on his face- who was almost a mirror image of his older-self saunterd up to the sorting hat and placed it on his head, trying not to wreck his hair.  
  
Snape grinned evily- he'd found his next victim of torture. Although he was completely surprised, he was also amused.  
  
Not as amused as Ablus however. He had his head down in his hands and was silently shaking with laughter. He mutterd, "Gone VERY wrong.." once and Snape, once more, was concerned for his sanity. He had already dubbed the Headmaster behind this, but why was he laughing so?  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF!" Snape snorted as he watched the young fraud walk over to the Hufflepuff table looking thoughoutly dissapointed.  
  
And just when Snape thought things couldn't have gotten stranger..  
  
"M-McGonagall, M-Minerva!?" Proffesor McGonagall shouted, obviously ready to go into histerics.  
  
A child-like version of Minerva grinned at her, and without hesitation pulled the hat down on her head.  
  
It took a while for her to be sorted- almost the same amount of time it had taken Minerva herself to be sorted- finally the hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
Minerva ran off to the Gryffindor table, sitting beside young Albus. Harry Potter's eyes looked as though they were about to shoot out of his head.  
  
Snape couldn't help it. He let out a burst of laughter. And as strange as things were going that night the student body found this even stranger. They were dead silent looking in Snape's direction.  
  
He coughed and tried to plaster a sneer to his face. Hardly suceeding.  
  
"Riddle, Tom!" Minerva had given up being shocked and was now just spitting out every name without really reading it.  
  
But when she re-read the name she had called she paled. As did everyone else in the Hall.  
  
But the young Voldemort-to-be glided up and sure enough, was sorted into Slytherin the second the hat had touched his head.  
  
The Slytherin's cheered louder than they had ever done before, and tom was greeted like a brother by Draco.  
  
Over at the Gryffindor table, Ginny fainted.  
  
Snape was deep in thought before his own name was called.  
  
"Snape, Severus!" This too brought stares and silece.  
  
Snape glared at Dumbledore who was chuckling under his breath, wiping tears out of his eyes.  
  
"Headmaster.."  
  
"Shh, you'll miss it!" Dumbledore grinned and looked over at the small boy who was Severus.  
  
"SLYTHERIN!" Severus watched himself walk over and sit by Tom. He glared at the younger him. "Don't go making friends with the wrong sort now.."  
  
The last surprise was, obviously- "Quirrel, Quirky!"  
  
Minerva laughed herself- seeming to be on the brink of insanity along with Snape- at the child's name.  
  
Quirky looked somewhat offended, but put on his bravest face and managed to get sorted into Ravenclaw.  
  
"Ravenclaw? That idiot?!" Snape sneered, thinking about the stupid things Quirrle had done.  
  
Dumbledore was laughing outloud now- recieving more and more queer stares.  
  
"One of my more brilliant ideas indeed!"  
  
*  
  
That night in the Gryffindor common room sleep was the last thing on anyone's minds. Everyone wanted to know how this had come to happen- and were not going to bed before they found out.  
  
Minerva was simply refusing to believe that she was a young Proffesor Minerva McGonagall. Even though she was the spitting image of Proffesor McGonagall when she was her age (a/n: Makes no sense to you? Me either!)  
  
Albus on the other hand was greatly amused by it. "I wonder how that happend?!" He kept repeating, getting on everyone's nerves. As he never answerd any question directly.  
  
"Reminds me of a bloody centaur!" Ron said to Harry- who laughed.  
  
But everyone continued to ask questions. They wanted to know how the six had gotten to Hogwarts.. WHY they were at Hogwarts.. and, most importantly, how long they'd be there- as everyone thought Dumbledore was a bit.. Odd.  
  
"I'm not a flaming magical MISTAKE!" Minerva yelled, shooting death glares at the entire Gryffindor population.  
  
"You're right Miss McGonagall, you are not. Neither is Severus Snape!" It was Headmaster Dumbledore.  
  
"See.." Minerva started, beggining a satisfied grin..  
  
"I meant to bring you two here!" Minerva's satisfied grin turned into a scowl. Her face was showing her fury, yet her voice remined placidly clam.  
  
"Headmaster, I don't understand.."  
  
"Then let me tell you. All of you." Dumbledore sat down in an armchair facing the Gryffindors. He motioned for everyone to gather 'round (a/n: Story time! Yey!.. -_-.. Oh god.. *slaps self*).  
  
Once everyone was settled Dumbledore proceeded to tell his tale:  
  
"The idea came to me while enjoying a rather spicy drink down in Mexico this summer.." He seemed to blank out for a moment- causing the Gryffindors to exchange glances- then continued; "Proffesor Snape was feeling rather agrivated because of a task I gave to him at the end of last term-" He looked over at Harry, Ron, and Hermione-" As well as Proffesor McGonagall. So I simply casted a very complicated spell(a/n: simply casted a very complicated spell? Oh my.. I need to think before I type.) to bring out the child in them!" When the Gryffindors meerly looked at him he added- "That would bring their child selves to Hogwarts to amuse them."  
  
"Ooh.." the Gryffindors all said.  
  
"But-" Dumbledore said, giving a week smile, "It was a very, very complicated spell- and it went wrong somehow.  
  
"For some odd reason- I do not know how (a/n: o.O neither do I..)- I've also brought back Tom Riddle, Gilderoy Lockheart, myself, and Quirky Quirrle! But untill I find a way to reverse the spell- which doens't seem very likely, considering I don't even know what I've done wrong- they will be students like the rest of you."  
  
"But-" Hermione piped up, "Won't it get confusing with Albus, Minerva, and Severus? I mean.. Their names are the same as yours.."  
  
"Very observant of you, Miss Granger." Dumbledore smiled, "They will have to think of other names to call themselves." His twinkle was brighter than ever. "Good luck to you all. I must go inform the other houses what's happend as well. Goodnight!"  
  
Once Dumbledore had left Minerva and Albus looked at eachother and smiled, "What to call ourselves.."  
  
Two evil grins- looking suspisiously like those the Weasly Twin's got when they were planning something mischievious- appeared on their faces.  
  
*  
  
Dumbledore had just left the Slytherin common room and Draco was sitting over with Tom and Severus with a huge grin on his face.  
  
Dumbledore had told Tom to think of a new name, as well as Severus.  
  
"TOM! Call yourself Voldemort! That ought to scare the lot of them!" Draco was practically glowing.  
  
Tom laughed coldly but shook his head, "Nahh, I need something original.. Voldey!" He smirked, "VOLDEY! I am Voldey."  
  
Severus gave him an odd look, "That's origninal? You're seriously weird. But.. It's good. Now.. What to call myself?"  
  
Draco put in his two knuts (a/n: clever aren't I?)- "What about Sevvy?"  
  
Severus shrugged, and since he couldn't come up with anything else agreed to be Sevvy.  
  
So Voldey and Sevvy, the newest members of Slytherin, were engaged in conversations about who Tom Riddle was now, and who supported who.  
  
"You've even got a snake named Nagini?!" Draco yelped exitedly as Nagini slitherd out of Voldey's pocket.  
  
*  
  
"We've been made by magic?" Quirky was simply amazed by this. He had decided to continue calling himself Quirky- since he was so fond of the name.  
  
The Ravenclaws were very interested in how this had been acomplished, so Dumbledore stayed a bit later to explain in detail.  
  
Once he left, Quirky was questioned untill his head hurt.  
  
*  
  
Gilderoy Lockheart pretended to know about the whole thing before Dumbledore'd said anything. He made a complete fool of himself, but managed to brush it off as a joke.  
  
He refused to change his name to Dumbledore changed it for him. It was- Obliviate.  
  
When Gilderoy asked why, Dumbledore just laughed and said he'd find out soon enough.  
  
************************  
  
A/N: This isn't as long as I wanted to be... Oh well. BUT LISTEN! I have to set a few things up, get everyone in understanding with the "new students" then you'll see some serious humor. I've got to get them introduced though. Because I've come up with an almost definate plot- so yes, you fanfiction writers know the "Setting shit up" proccess the pisses the hell out of people. DEAL WITH IT! it WILL be good!  
  
Also.. Voldey- I couldn't resist. Please don't kill me for that *grins* I'm making Nagini tiny right now.. Just because my muse (my OWN snake named Nagini) wanted me too.. He was giving me that.. look.  
  
Review!!!  
  
~House-elf 


	3. Chapter Three

PG-13- for violence, language, and still.. the name Quirky. *winks*  
  
Disclaimer: Does anyone else find these annoying? I don't own Harry Potter and co. But- Anguiena is STILL mine.. and YES- she will have some signifigance to the story.. Just.. later.  
  
A/N: Amadeus! I wasn't kidding! Only four fics have ever actually triggerd emotion in me! *grin* I am Lord Voldemort, and Butterfly (Nemesis'), and 14 (your fic-obviously) *everyone go read it!* and The Boy Who Lived Is Dead! Thanks for reviewing this!  
  
I think I'll read those fics you mentioned.. I think I started reading Eliza's once.. but.. stopped? Hm, I'll have to go see.. O.o  
  
Anyhoons- This chapter is a bit of insanity-- which leads up to how we get into the plot. Enjoy!  
  
OH!- Amadeus, I'm using Minnie as the nickname thanks to your inspiration! And the whole getting scolded for profanity was the reason I made Minnie have a bad mouth. *drools* hypocrisy...  
  
Here we go! On to part three! *moving along quite fast.. no worries.. it wont last. *evil grin* once I get into the plot it takes me FOREVER to post chapters..  
  
~I'm writing this at 7:30am.. a couple hours before I have to get my ass to school. Oh the horror.. I'm going in my pj's. No way in hell am I getting dressed after being up all night--again.~  
  
**************  
  
Chapter Three: A phsyco turtle.. A magical Potion.. and.. Floating teachers?!  
  
Minerva and Albus has decided to call themselves Minnie and Dumbly. Originality was one of their strong points.  
  
Minnie was awakened by Dumbly throwing a chocolate frog at her. "It's time we should EAT!" Dumbly was now jumping on Minnie's bed.  
  
She kicked her leg out at him, succeding in knocking him off of the bed. She laughed and got up- and without changing from her pyjamas she grabbed her wand and walked with Dumbly down to breakfast before anyone else in Gryffindor was up.  
  
When they enterd the Great Hall they saw only Proffesor Dumbledore and a woman who reminded Minnie of a veela.  
  
When Dumbledore caught Minnie's eye he motioned for Dumbly and herself to approach the staff table.  
  
"Hello you two. I'd like you to meet Proffesor Delecour," Professor Dumbledore nodded in the woman's direction. "Because of all the confusion last night I forgot to mention her!"  
  
"Nice to meet you," Minnie smirked, "Name's Minnie." The last part was for Dumbledore as much as this proffesor.  
  
"I'm Dumbly."  
  
Dumbledore smiled at this and looked up at the clear sky outside. Grinning like he'd just won a million galleons. "Love the names.."  
  
*  
  
Voldey and Sevvy were groggily making their way down to the Great Hall, yawning loudly, as they had been up almost the whole night learning about their future sleves.  
  
Sevvy and Vodley had been extremely interested in the fact that Voldey turned out to be an evil, very powerful wizard- yet they were unsure of wheather they approved of it or not. As interesting as it was- Voldey himself thought he'd amount to more than a feared, snake-like creature.  
  
Sevvy had heard of himself being a Death Eater- and scowled. He? A FOLLOWER?! Not a chance in hell he had thought. Things had to change. He'd RULE not FOLLOW.  
  
Voldey and Sevvy shared smirks and knew what each boy in turn was thinking: Dumbledore's reaction to their names- Voldey's in particular.  
  
Their smirks were replaced by identical sneers as Gilderoy ran up to them. "Good morning you two! The name's Obliviate!"  
  
Voldey and Sevvy exchanged confused glances and Obliviate returned one of his own.  
  
"I know- I don't understand either- Dumbledore said I'd understand soon enough though."  
  
"That man's off his rocker.." Voldey mumbled, and Sevvy nodded in agreement.  
  
*  
  
Quirky, on the other hand, was having a wondefull morning. His housemates loved him, and were telling him how they didn't blame him for his older- self's actions.  
  
Smiling as he almost skipped down to the Great Hall he didn't notice the yellings and sounds of fighting coming from the direction he was heading.  
  
But there was no mistaking a fight when you ran right into it-litterally.  
  
Quirky crashed into two people rolling on the ground, their wands being used as stabbing tools more than magic-except for the occasional shower of sparks.  
  
"Minnie! Sevvy! Stop this instant!" Dumbly was shouting, trying to aim his wand right to blast the two apart.  
  
"FUCK YOU SEVVY! MINNIE IS A WAY BETTER NAME THEN YOURS!" Quirky flinched as he reconsied Minnie's voice.  
  
"Dammit! Watch where you put your elb-OW!" Sevvy and Minnie were hauled apart by a large pair of arms.  
  
"What der yeh think yer doin'?!" The huge man, who had to be Hagrid, bellowed at the pair of struggling first years.  
  
"THAT BLOODY PHSYCO STARTED IT!" Sevvy shouted pointing his finger at Minnie.  
  
"FUCK YOU!" Minnie shot back, sticking out her tounge.  
  
"WATCH YER DAMN LANGUAGE!" Hagrid bellowed at the pair.  
  
"Rubeus, really.." Came the voice of Albus Dumbledore. His eyes were twinkling, as if he were trying to hold back laughter.  
  
It became apparent at once why this situation was so humerous. Quirky looked at the future Proffesors, both cut a bruised, their faces a mix of anger and shock, being held up by a gigantic man who was trying equally as hard not to laugh at them.  
  
"I suggest you two try to behave yourselves for the remainder of the day.." Dumbledore motioned for Hagrid to put the two down, and the two proffesors walked into the Great Hall together.  
  
"Minnie is a better name."  
  
"Sevvy is."  
  
"Greeeeeeseyyyy.." Minnie said, her eyes wide and her hands wriggling out in front of her as if she were trying to hypnotize Sevvy.  
  
"Oh, that's it-" Sevvy launched himself at Minnie who transfigured him into a needle.  
  
~  
  
A month had passed and there was still havoc happening whever the six happend to be.  
  
More specificly, wherever Minnie happened to be.  
  
It was a normal Transfiguration Class, they were learning how to transfigure turtles into pin cusions.  
  
Minnie couldn't get her turtle to hold still. She claimed that it must have had "supernatural powers", because: "It's just not normal for a turtle to move that fast..".  
  
Finally she thought she had the turtle cornered. Lifting her wand and getting ready to say the incantaion, the Turtle flipped off of her desk.  
  
This was a mistake on the turtle's part.  
  
Minnie jumped up onto the desk and started blasting fire-balls at the "superhuman" turtle. "TAKE THAT YOU FILTHY BUGGER! DIE TURTLE FROM HELL! FUCKING DIE!!!!!"  
  
Proffessor McGonagall flinched when she heard Minnie's voice break the somewhat quiet room.  
  
"Minnie! Five points from Gryffindor for that outburst!" She scolded.  
  
"FIVE?! FOR TELLING THE FLAMING TURTLE TO GO TO HELL?! IT'S POSSESED!"  
  
"Shh! Or I'll take another five points off!" Minerva was doing her best to ignore the fact that she was scolding herself.. A much younger version of herself.. But all the same. Had she ever been this disrespectful?  
  
"For what?" Minnie was giving her a challanging smirk.  
  
"For using crude words in my class.. As well as almost destroying my classroom.."  
  
"Crude words like...." Minnie's eyes were glitterign with mistchief, "Hell?"  
  
"Minnie- I'm warning you.."  
  
"Shit, fuck, bitch, bloody, flaming?" Minerva took another five points off.  
  
Minnie was testing her. Minerva regreted ever putting her own proffesors through this..  
  
"Ah HA!" Minnie bounded to the next desk, and pointed her wand at the ground blasting another fire-ball at the turtle.  
  
"MINNIE! DOWN THIS INSTANT!" Minerva was loosing her cool.  
  
"JUST AFTER I KILL THIS LITTLE-" BANG!!  
  
Minnie was flung backwards along with several other student's who'd been standing too close to the turtle.  
  
"DETENTION!" Minerva yelled, "AND!- Twenty points from Gryffindor!" The other Gryffindors were beginning to look a bit mad at the point-loss.  
  
"HOLD ON!" Minnie shot one last blast which engulfed the front half of the classroom in flames.  
  
"Everyone out!!!" Minerva shoved the Gryffindor first years out of the classroom and rounded on Minnie.  
  
"You little ungreatfull brat! You wait untill YOU'RE a proffesor! You'll have to put up with SHIT from your pupils too!" Minerva's eyes were flashing.  
  
Minnie's mouth fell open. "Yes ma'm.."  
  
Minerva was mentally kicking herself for being such a hypicrit. But she seemed to have gotten through to Minnie.  
  
Key word, "Seemed".  
  
"But I'm afraid you used a crude word, Proffesor. Five points from Gryffindor!!" Minnie doubled over with laughter and Dumbly snorted.  
  
Minerva was resisting the urge to reach up and pull out her hair. "CLASS DISMISSED!"  
  
The Gryffindors all turned to leave. "Not you Minnie, and you too Dumbly."  
  
"What did I do!?" Dumbly questioned, outraged.  
  
"You laughed."  
  
Dumbly opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it.  
  
"You two will have detentions tonight. You will recieve your detention slips at dinner." Minerva turned to go back into her classroom to fix the mess Minnie had made.  
  
Once she was inside she saw a turtle scurry out of the classroom and Minnie's echoing curse-words bounching off the walls.  
  
*  
  
"As I said at he beginning of the term we will be making a cheerfullness potion," The thought seemed to sicken Snape. "Albus has decided that we need them."  
  
Voldey and Sevvy weren't listening however. They were planning their next attack on Obliviate- who'd found out why Dumbldore suggested the name, and was furious by the idea. However, he couldn't change it.. So he acted as if he chose it himself as a joke.  
  
For the first time in history the Gryffindors didn't have portions with Slytherins. But Slytherins were stuck with the Hufflepuffs.  
  
Voldey and Sevvy's plan had got fowled up however, when Obliviate got moved to the front of the room. So they were sitting there sulking. Voldey was actually acting as his older self had done when in Hogwarts.  
  
"Now all we need to add is the rose stem... DONE!" Sevvy was deeply into this potion. He seemed to fancy the subject Potions to unhealthy state.  
  
"We're trying it at the same time." Voldey stated blankly.  
  
Sevvy poured them each a bit of the potion into two vials and they downed it.  
  
For a moment, nothing happened. Then suddenly, Voldey felt.. Happy.  
  
Severus looked at the grinning Voldey and shudderd. A happy Voldemort was a scary Voldemort. But what was more frieghtening was himself.  
  
Sevvy was sitting there giggling and smiling at nothing in particular. "I can't wait for divination! It will be so FUN!"  
  
"YEY!" Voldey smiled and gave Sevvy a "thumbs up".  
  
Severus shudderd. This was wrong. What was worse though..  
  
Obliviate seemed to be even more cheery than usual. "YIPPE!!!! I LOVE POTIONS!! I LOVE YOU PROFFESOR!"  
  
Snape retreated to his desk and avoided eye-contact untill the class was over. Cheerfullness potions were something he'd NEVER be making again.  
  
*  
  
Ravenclaw had a spare and Quirky was wandering the halls of Hogwarts looking for something to do. For a moment he thought he'd gone mad.  
  
Had that been a turtle shooting past him at that speed? "Odd.." He thought and continued to walk towards the Entrance Hall.  
  
No more than a minuet had passed when he heard Dumbly and Minnie's voices talking exitedly.  
  
"Yes! It really makes you float untill you confess a three dark secrets!" Minnie was giggling.  
  
"So you said to add a bit of pepper?" Dumbly questioned, exited as well.  
  
"Yes, but not too much! I remember adding too much pepper once and well.. You'd be afraid."  
  
"And a pinch of salt?"  
  
"Hey! Was that the turtle?!"  
  
"Oh come off it.."  
  
Quirky could almost feel Minnie glaring.  
  
He decided to see what they were up to. He turned the corner to see them stirring a cauldren in the middle of the hallway.  
  
"P-pretty s-secritive you two.." Quirky mused, watching as Minnie clapped her hands while watching Dumbly stir the cauldren.  
  
"Ah! Quirky! It's only you.. Just didn't want it to be McGonagall or anything. She seems upset today.." Minnie mutterd, looking into the cauldren.  
  
Dumbly rolled his eyes, "I wonder why?"  
  
Minnie ignored Dumbly and started to explain how the potion they were making worked..  
  
Once she'd finished three figures walked up to the trio.  
  
"I thought you were in potions?" Dumbly asked, reconising Voldey, Sevvy, and Obliviate.  
  
They all smiled, "Snape kicked us out.." Obliviate was saying as if it were the most splended thing in the world, "WE were too cheerfull for him.." Voldey "Tee-hee'd" and Sevvy started humming.  
  
Dumbly, Minnie, and Quirky stared at the three with horror on thier faces.  
  
"Are you aware that you're being happy?" Minnie asked, backing up as if they had some desease.  
  
Dumbly seemed to be holding back laughter, "Cheerfull potions. I can't believe Snape made you make CHEERFULL potions!"  
  
Voldey, Sevvy, and Obliviate all smiled toothy smiles and sighed, "He's a genius!"  
  
Quirky's eyes grew.  
  
"T-this is un-healthy.."  
  
*  
  
Sevvy and Obliviate's potions had worn off, although Voldey's had remained (Dumbly suggested that he was more subject to potions because he was so thin. Minnie snickerd at that- but mainly because she'd gotten such a kick out of a happy Voldemort-to-be that she'd fed him some more).  
  
Sevvy was furious so he insisted that he would play along with the "surpirise" for the staff. Obliviate hated being left out of the "friendship bonding" thing that he claimed was going on so he agreed to join in as well.  
  
Voldey had only started chuckling and nodding- they took it that he was in too.  
  
As you can see- our six favorite magical mistakes had become a sort of 'group' of friends. While they were constantly bickering they could hardly be seen without one another. Ginny was giving Voldey weird looks and seemed more afraid of him than anyone had been. Harry was avoiding him as well, although Voldey saw reason for this. You see- everyone besides the two Gryffindors had warmed up to all six. While still thiking they were all odd, and rather annoying at times- they found them extremely amusing.  
  
Minnie had a feeling tonight would seal the deal with the rest of the school.  
  
Sevvy was smirking as he looked over at Minnie at the Gryffindor table. All he had to do was wait for the signal- and he'd start his distraction. He had realised about half an hour ago that they'd all recieve detentions for a year at least, but was feeling rather bitter towards the proffesors (Snape in particular) so he agreed that it'd be worth it.  
  
Minnie caught his eye and nodded.  
  
Sevvy nudged Voldey.  
  
"AHHH!!!!!! THERE'S A TURTLE IN MY SOUP!!!!!" Sevvy screamed and shot out of his seat.  
  
Voldey let go of the "supernatural powerd" turtle and it shot off at an amazing speed towards the Hufflepuff table. (Minnie had finally caught the Turtle)  
  
It was right on target.  
  
Obliviate's soup was knocked off of the table into his lap and he jumped up screaming that the devil was attacking him. All attention was drawn to him untill--  
  
Everyone turned to look at the table furthest from the doors of the Great Hall- The Ravenclaw table. The Turle had- once again- been right on target- it skimmed the top of Quirky's turban, catching hold of it by a rough eldge in it's shell- Quirky was dragged around the Ravenclaw table several times untill the proffesors had all ran over to stop the deranged turtle.  
  
No one had seen Dumbly run into the Great Hall, a cauldren levitating behind him, while he rushed up to the Staff Table. Nor had they seen him slip a little something into a few of the Proffesors's drinks.  
  
He ran back to his spot with the cauldren, which he shoved under the table (Where it dissapeared, landing on a table in the kitchens where the hous- elves were bowling.. But that's another story).  
  
Once the turtle had been dislodged from Quirky's turban and he had been mended of all cuts and scrapes he'd gotten the Great Hall went back to their meal- the occasional laugh breaking out from students who'd found this amusing.  
  
Occasional laughs turned into a huge uproar of laughter as five proffesors from the Staff Table rose out of their seats and into the air..  
  
********************  
  
A/N: Ooo my first Cliffhanger!  
  
Nagini: Not too much of a Cliffhanger..  
  
House-elf: Screw you!  
  
  
  
Those who can guess which five of the proffesors are up in the air? And.. anyone want to suggest some questions to be asked by the student body that would throughtly embarass the proffesors? If you do I'll make you're own special character ask it. Meaning that you should email me your questions!  
  
PLEASE DO SO!  
  
Also- I've decided to start calling the infamous six the Six Magical Mistakes.. It's easy to type and I *know* Minnie and Sevvy aren't truely mistakes.. But they certainly seem like them.  
  
Hoons and Chez to all of you that reviewed the last chapters! *hugs you all*  
  
Especially Gred Weasley!!!!! You made my day by calling this "Genius" I honestly whooped for joy.  
  
*hands out chez to all of her faithfull reviewers- Ryven777- (I try! I honestly do! I sure as hell will insert more sugar.. *stares at pile of chocolate*), Hayely-(thanks hay! I think I will.. *grin*), Gred Weasley- (Who made my day *midnight's day IMO* better than ever *hands you another piece of chez*), Sailor Chibi-(Glad you thought 'twas funny! There most certainly will be MORE!), Amedeus-(who also rocks *hands you another piece of chez as well*), and miss breed-(Who i am still thanking for giving me the correct spelling for Gilderoy and Quirrel.. and being my first reviewer!!!)* (Hoons will come once you've reviewed THIS chapter)  
  
~House-elf 


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